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I went to the San Jose Jazz Festival yesterday. Excellent music! I also got to meet some great vendors too! I had been feeling kind of leery about just handing out cards to people as they walked around. I mean, that's soliciting, and I guess I don't feel as courageous as I should. What if the event staff tell me to stop??? Okay, I'm miedosa. It occured to me, though, that I had a website. I have viewers. I have something people need! And here were all these people sitting out in the hot sun, trying to sell their wares. So I decided to offer them free advertising if they like what they see on my website. I will post their cards and links on my website. It was amazing how they were more interested in what the book was about and how long did it take to write it, etc. I thought maybe they'd only care about the free ad, but they didn't! Plus, some said they'd put my ad on their websites too! I hadn't expected that. It made me feel really good.

I met a vendor from Nepal. He was very interested in my t-shirt. It has my Cipitillo on it, with the backwards feet. He started telling me about this legend in Nepal about witches with feet like that. It sounded a lot like La Ziguanaba! I asked him to send me an email with his story. I love it when I hear stories from other cultures, and the similarities just leap out at me!

I need advice on what else I should do to promote my book. Anything will help! If you have a favorite bookstore or library, please give me the name and location so I can send them a brochure. I've also got a fan club if anyone wants free stuff. Any other ideas?? I'm stretching dollars here, so I can't travel around, promoting the book the way I want and need to. People tell me they love the book once they finish it, so my confidence level is pretty stable. Check out my Legendseeker profile to get a glimpse of the book. Chapter one is almost completely online. I don't care if people read it for free, as long as they read it and love it and want more! Do I sound desperate?? I just want to get outta dodge and be able to support my kids without worry. My time is getting short and I will have to relocate in December. Again, any help will be appreciated!

My ship has gone through a hurricane while still in port!

Thursday my father died. I hadn't talked to him in half a year. I was still mad at him and resentful that he would choose a child molester over me and my kids. I got a call on Thursday that I had to go see him because he couldn't die. In El Salvador we believe that if a person has something hanging over them, like guilt, then they can't die. My dad had cancer, no stomach, he wasn't waking up anymore, and he had wasted away to a skeleton. I went to see him, and told him I forgave him and that I loved him, and in a few minutes he died. He was just waiting for me. I also hugged my mom and sister, but I am not going to go back to how it was. They still believe my daughter is a liar and my brother-in-law is a saint. So I can't.

I got a little sympathy from my guy, and then a quick "I can't see you until next weekend" - where's the support here??? Am I wrong to think that he should be here for me in my time of need? I mean, my dad just died, my whole family was around his bed and no one wanted to even look at me (like I had done something wrong - my mom has convinced everyone that my daughter was lying about being molested) and he can't come see me for one day??? I drove everyday to Tulare to be with him. No exceptions. I worked fulltime and drove 5 hours a day. LOL I guess that just makes me a p****ja.

So I took my kids and we left state for the weekend to avoid cousins and other well-intentioned people who think I should BE THERE with my family right now. Be there so they can all tell me I'm rencorosa (however you spell it) and that I have to let it go - my daughter still has nightmares (but no one sees that, so it didn't happen and she's a liar.)

I am griping now. I'll stop.

Sunday my youngest fell into a cave and now has three staples in his head. That was what got me to realize the important things in life. My kids. It doesn't matter what we go through, if we go through it together we can survive it. No one else was at the ER with us. But that's usual. No one is ever with us. And we survive. I am very proud of that. And my son is still running around but I appreciate him more. he's also swearing he'll listen to me next time, but we'll see.

I went away and had a very calm, reflective time to mourn and realize what I needed to do. I haven't talked to my guy since, and I probably won't. My phone was off. I didn't talk to anyone. I have two best friends who left me messages, so I know who loves me. LOL ok, it's not that bad! I survived this storm and now it's all about working my booty off. I will be ok.

Well, to continue with my "ship about to sail" analogy, my guy has decided that he will follow me on a jet ski and if we begin to have common interests again, he'll jump aboard my ship. If we don't have anything in common he will take off to other parts of the world.

It's funny how everything has changed since my book has been published. Strangers are all excited to meet me and become my friend. I have a lot of great friends now, people who are encouraging me and spreading the word about my book. Then there's my family... como si nada. I have a cousin who came out to my Artwalk events a couple times. Other than that, I don't hear from anyone. My guy is feeling like he doesn't have anything in common with me anymore. He has no interest in my book, aside from the occasional "oh, that's nice" comment. He likes to hang around the house all day and he said that since I want to travel, it's not going to be a real relationship. He wants me to stay around home and just work 9-5.

Am I selfish for wanting to succeed? My dream has come true and now the people closest to me want me to quit. My kids are excited and want to move around the country, but aside from them, everyone else wants me to keep working a fulltime job and just stay in town.

I can't promote my book from home. I'm trying so hard. I'm blogging and emailing and posting... There's only so much I can do on the computer. I need to get out there, have my name out in public, meet people, hand out flyers, something!

My ex-mother in law was trying to scare me last night. She says the recession is coming and I'll be homeless if I quit my job. I tried to explain that I wouldn't quit without having a backup plan, but she wants me to move to her place in San Francisco. I told her I might, next year - I can promote in the city while I can. But the main point was that she doesn't think i can make it either.

Am I the only one who has faith in me? LOL

If I try and it doesn't work out, then I can go back to working 9-5. If I don't try... The only way I can be sure to fail is if I don't try.

I'm waiting until December to decide on what I'm doing. I'm not throwing everything away just yet. In the meantime, I will continue to work my day job and write and promote 24/7. It's the only thing I can do. Oh, and pray. I can pray.

I had felt like a crab in a barrel, fighting to get out. I had my baby crabs on my back, and my man crab by the hand and I was trying to pull us all out together. All these worthless, bad, selfish and envious crabs were tugging us back.

I got out of the barrel, with my kids, and we climbed aboard a ship of dreams.

The problem was that this ship was in a harbor I didn't want to be in, and my man crab - who had been hesitant to leave the other crabs, now became an anchor. He was holding onto me, keeping me from sailing away, and he was holding onto the crab barrel at the bottom of a sea of distress.

My kids, who were no longer crabs, but eager and worthy sailors, were staring out into the great blue beyond, ready to go. I was looking over the portside bow, frustrated that my man crab was not climbing up. I would hint and compromise, complain and then finally threaten but he was comfortable where he was.

Last night I finally cut the anchor loose. It's going to take awhile to get my ship sea worthy, but at least we're drifting towards the harbor mouth now. When we're ready, we are setting sail and never looking back.

Yes, I'm sad, and scared. After all, I've been with him for a while and I'm used to having him around - when he had time to come visit. Funny how I could drive to Tulare everday to be with him, but he cant come every weekend. But I'm free now. He was a good guy - no drugs, alcohol, partying, nada - but he was self-centered, and I guess I wanted to be the center of his universe. One call a day wasn't much to ask, it just proves he's thinking of me. I'm talking a "Hi, ok I'm going to sleep" kind of call, because he wasn't into having conversations with me. With others he can talk for hours. I know, i'm retarded. Plus he didn't take much part or have much interest in my writing and promoting.

Whatever. I'm free. I can sail away by the end of the year, if not sooner.

Maybe I should have a bonvoyage party???

Ghandi is quoted as saying "They can not take away our self respect if we do not give it to them."

My whole life, I have been giving people my self respect. Whether it be a family member or a spouse, I would just hand it over and expect them to make me happy.

Of course, the only thing that would happen is that they would abuse it, wring it out and throw it away.

I have finally gotten my family to leave us in peace - parents and siblings who only want to hurt my kids and me. It took one horrible event, a restraining order, and a lot of anger to make me break free. I am better without them. Yet it still hurts that they ignore my successes and focus on my failures. Porque you know the rest of mi familia, primos y tias still tell me what they're saying. Anyway, a couple more months and I'm outta here forever. Onto greener pastures.

Here's my downfall. Mi hombre. Because of gas prices I had to move closer to work. He stayed behind because of his job. It's been a couple months. All I ask is one call a day to say goodnight. I don't ask what where - nada.

He's a good man. Hard working. Loving. Cares for me and my kids. He loves his family (parents and siblings) and bends over backwards for them, more than he does for me of course. Yesterday was our two year anniversary.

Problem? No matter how many successes I've had during the day, or how many kudos I've gotten, if he doesn't call me...the whole day is ruined. My happiness hinges on whether he calls or not!

Stupid. I know. I can think of better words to describe it. It's all me. I shouldn't care about something that retarded. But it really bothers me. Anyway, I came across Ghandi's quote in the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It was like a light shined down on me.

I am taking back my self respect. Only I can make myself happy, and only I will respect ME more than anyone else.

When asked where I will move to, I always say it depends on where he is. Forget that now. I felt like he was my anchor, keeping me here in California. It's time I break free of the anchor. It shouldn't be about limiting myself to what he's doing. It's about succeeding for me and my kids, and if he wants to come along, then he can come aboard.

Check out Legendseeker. (This is Legendseeker2) I am posting my book piece by piece.

I'm trying to get my second book out soon, but I'm encountering some difficulties. I can't find too much information on El Salvador during the 1790-1810 period. Help! If anyone has any idea where I can find info, please let me know. Any link, book, article, anything! English text is preferable, but I can read in Spanish too. Gracias!!!

The ArtWalk was a success! We sold 4 books and met a lot of interesting new friends. A spray paint artist sprayed up a cave for us - for free. The Isle has a musician friend who plays the didjeridoo... Yeah, and if you saw the instrument, you'd say what the hell again. LOL  Also met a guy who said he studied anthropology for 7 years, and he's been all over Mexico, so I had an interesting conversation.

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I have always entertained myself with my stories. I love to write them, and I love to read them. I never gave much thought to sharing them with the world, so when I finally got one published, it was scary. It was like I had released a child out into the world. I had to sit back and wait to see if that child was rejected, accepted or ignored. Luckily, it seems to have been accepted, but it's still scary!

There are two kinds of people who buy my book: the kind who buy it and don't have time to read it, and the type who read it and love it. I have to admit, there was one reader who didn't much care for it, but he prefers more profound works. There was a friend who started to read it, but put it aside to read a diet book. Other than that, I have been getting really good "reviews".  I've found that my fanbase ranges from male to female, 15 to 60 years old, in various professions.

Please keep in mind that I am not bragging, I'm just AMAZED that people like my story as much as I do.

I love hearing from my fans. It really motivates me to hurry up with my second novel. It also makes me realize I CAN'T hurry, because it has to be quality work. I appreciate all the wonderful comments, and the people who stop me in the street to tell me what part they liked the best. So far I have readers in Stockton and San Francisco. Thank you, Twinkie, for your comment. I would be honored to be your featured author.

Here are two recent comments that were sent to my website:

"I have never been much of a "reader"...I've always been into movies...when my mom, who works with Nancy, mentioned how great this book was....I had to admit, I was like...yeah yeah yeah...and it wasn't until I noticed my dad...who is this very confident street smart guy take interest in this book...he couldn't put it down...I had to read it. It was a great decision that i made because I fell in love with the story and the characters. I would never expect this kind of talent to be in stockton. Nancy Brooks is my new favorite author. This book gave me every kind of emotion. I loved it. I highly reccommend it!!!!! oh and i should mention, I am dying for the sequel to come out."

"I finished reading The Isle Of Cipit about a few weeks ago. Couldn't put it down. When I came home from work the next day, I felt sad because normally after cooking dinner I would read the book. You get so involved in the characters. Especially Kiarme & Maggie. Fell in Love w/Kiarme. I missed reading about them every day that I started reading the book all over again. Can't wait for the sequel. Please don't delay! Thanks for the excitement, scary, romance & adventure! Until the next book."