Ghandi is quoted as saying "They can not take away our self respect if we do not give it to them."

My whole life, I have been giving people my self respect. Whether it be a family member or a spouse, I would just hand it over and expect them to make me happy.

Of course, the only thing that would happen is that they would abuse it, wring it out and throw it away.

I have finally gotten my family to leave us in peace - parents and siblings who only want to hurt my kids and me. It took one horrible event, a restraining order, and a lot of anger to make me break free. I am better without them. Yet it still hurts that they ignore my successes and focus on my failures. Porque you know the rest of mi familia, primos y tias still tell me what they're saying. Anyway, a couple more months and I'm outta here forever. Onto greener pastures.

Here's my downfall. Mi hombre. Because of gas prices I had to move closer to work. He stayed behind because of his job. It's been a couple months. All I ask is one call a day to say goodnight. I don't ask what where - nada.

He's a good man. Hard working. Loving. Cares for me and my kids. He loves his family (parents and siblings) and bends over backwards for them, more than he does for me of course. Yesterday was our two year anniversary.

Problem? No matter how many successes I've had during the day, or how many kudos I've gotten, if he doesn't call me...the whole day is ruined. My happiness hinges on whether he calls or not!

Stupid. I know. I can think of better words to describe it. It's all me. I shouldn't care about something that retarded. But it really bothers me. Anyway, I came across Ghandi's quote in the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It was like a light shined down on me.

I am taking back my self respect. Only I can make myself happy, and only I will respect ME more than anyone else.

When asked where I will move to, I always say it depends on where he is. Forget that now. I felt like he was my anchor, keeping me here in California. It's time I break free of the anchor. It shouldn't be about limiting myself to what he's doing. It's about succeeding for me and my kids, and if he wants to come along, then he can come aboard.