http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879 Growing up in two places at once can be confusing to a child.&nbsp; My Grandparent's houses were across the street from each other.&nbsp; My mother's parents were separated before I was born to my&nbsp;seventeen year old Mother.&nbsp; Her Father left when he assumed that&nbsp;his three daughters were in fact not his, they were born with blonder than blond hair.&nbsp; To a dark skinned Hispanic man, with dark brown hair and eyes, that is what made sense to him.&nbsp; How could three little blond girls be his.&nbsp; My Grandmother&nbsp;was Hispanic and Irish, or Scottish I can never remember which.&nbsp; She was fair skinned, but had dark brown hair and hazel eyes.&nbsp; My Mother and her sisters grew darker hair and skin as they aged.&nbsp; Their features are uncanny to their Father's.&nbsp; I ran into him and his new family at a restaurant last week.&nbsp; His Granddaughter could be my sister.&nbsp; I have no doubt that he is my Grandfather.&nbsp; By the look on his face when he took a double look at her and myself,&nbsp;I knew he was thinking the&nbsp;same.&nbsp; It took a generation and a random meeting to acknowledge this after some 40 years.&nbsp; My Father tried to be there for me.&nbsp; It was hard for him to do more than work long hours and odd shifts to provide for me.&nbsp; He and my Mother were too young to get on their feet together.&nbsp; My Mother's priority was to her Mother, who was ill and needed her daughters to take care of her.&nbsp; It would have been chaos to let a man in the house.&nbsp; But, he didn't live far.&nbsp; The home across the street housed the rest of my family.&nbsp; My Dad, my Uncles and Aunts.&nbsp; I would often retreat to my haven of constant attention.&nbsp; I enjoyed this place more than any other.&nbsp; Hand made curtains, chili peppers hanging in the kitchen, the green crocheted dressed doll on the TV, and other colorful nick knacks were inviting and warming to my soul.&nbsp; The aroma of salsa brewing on the stove made my eyes water, but hunger took over as well.&nbsp;&nbsp;The house has and always will feel like home to me.&nbsp;&nbsp; My Grandfather, Mi Papa, was important to everyone.&nbsp; He had good advice to give, but more than that, he kept la familia together.&nbsp; Since his passing in 2003, we have lost touch except for holidays.&nbsp; Even then, only some of us show up to the house.&nbsp; It was him who made the tamales at Christmas time, and the menudo on new years, and it was he who traveled to visit family in New Mexico for the chili's that made the salsa.&nbsp; Without him we have lots touch with our traditions.&nbsp; These days my brother tries to help with the masa to make the tamales and of course we all help to spread it on the hojas.&nbsp; My Dad makes the menudo, but he is his own critic.&nbsp; He will never get it right.&nbsp; His Dad is the only one who would ever perfect any tradition.&nbsp; The family is trying to keep together, but falling away.&nbsp; Must traditions be kept to make a family whole?&nbsp; Growing up in two places at once can be confusing to a child.&nbsp; My Grandparent's houses were across the street from each other.&nbsp; My mother's parents were separated before I was born to my&nbsp;seventeen year old Mother.&nbsp; Her Father left when he assumed that&nbsp;his three daughters were in fact not his, they were born with blonder than blond hair.&nbsp; To a dark skinned Hispanic man, with dark brown hair and eyes, that is what made sense to him.&nbsp; How could three little blond girls be his.&nbsp; My Grandmother&nbsp;was Hispanic and Irish, or Scottish I can never remember which.&nbsp; She was fair skinned, but had dark brown hair and hazel eyes.&nbsp; My Mother and her sisters grew darker hair and skin as they aged.&nbsp; Their features are uncanny to their Father's.&nbsp; I ran into him and his new family at a restaurant last week.&nbsp; His Granddaughter could be my sister.&nbsp; I have no doubt that he is my Grandfather.&nbsp; By the look on his face when he took a double look at her and myself,&nbsp;I knew he was thinking the&nbsp;same.&nbsp; It took a generation and a random meeting to acknowledge this after some 40 years.&nbsp; My Father tried to be there for me.&nbsp; It was hard for him to do more than work long hours and odd shifts to provide for me.&nbsp; He and my Mother were too young to get on their feet together.&nbsp; My Mother's priority was to her Mother, who was ill and needed her daughters to take care of her.&nbsp; It would have been chaos to let a man in the house.&nbsp; But, he didn't live far.&nbsp; The home across the street housed the rest of my family.&nbsp; My Dad, my Uncles and Aunts.&nbsp; I would often retreat to my haven of constant attention.&nbsp; I enjoyed this place more than any other.&nbsp; Hand made curtains, chili peppers hanging in the kitchen, the green crocheted dressed doll on the TV, and other colorful nick knacks were inviting and warming to my soul.&nbsp; The aroma of salsa brewing on the stove made my eyes water, but hunger took over as well.&nbsp;&nbsp;The house has and always will feel like home to me.&nbsp;&nbsp; My Grandfather, Mi Papa, was important to everyone.&nbsp; He had good advice to give, but more than that, he kept la familia together.&nbsp; Since his passing in 2003, we have lost touch except for holidays.&nbsp; Even then, only some of us show up to the house.&nbsp; It was him who made the tamales at Christmas time, and the menudo on new years, and it was he who traveled to visit family in New Mexico for the chili's that made the salsa.&nbsp; Without him we have lots touch with our traditions.&nbsp; These days my brother tries to help with the masa to make the tamales and of course we all help to spread it on the hojas.&nbsp; My Dad makes the menudo, but he is his own critic.&nbsp; He will never get it right.&nbsp; His Dad is the only one who would ever perfect any tradition.&nbsp; The family is trying to keep together, but falling away.&nbsp; Must traditions be kept to make a family whole?&nbsp; en-us <p>I guess after a while you just start making your own traditions with your children. It's so sad how that happens. I see it all the time. The person that holds the family together passes away then all of a sudden we all forget how important family really is. Why do we do that, I wonder?</p> http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879/#c_201699 http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879/#c_201699 <p>I guess after a while you just start making your own traditions with your children. It's so sad how that happens. I see it all the time. The person that holds the family together passes away then all of a sudden we all forget how important family really is. Why do we do that, I wonder?</p> <p>I believe traditions should be kept to make a family whole...But in reality it does start losing touch with our family's especially when that person that held everything and everyone together passes.. I come from a large family.&nbsp; My mother had eight of us and she also comes from even a larger family.&nbsp; My mother passed away going on two years in May. and nothing is the same.&nbsp; I have six brothers and one sister and I'm the youngest.&nbsp; None of us really keep in touch or at least have no more get togethers.&nbsp; I remember growing up we always had parties, get togethers, especially holidays,&nbsp; every one got along.&nbsp; That all wore out.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I miss my mother she's the one that held us all together and knew how to hold us all together.&nbsp; No one ever told her no.....&nbsp; But I am grateful for my own family now.&nbsp;&nbsp; My husband, three daughters, and especially my four grandkids...</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879/#c_202740 http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879/#c_202740 <p>I believe traditions should be kept to make a family whole...But in reality it does start losing touch with our family's especially when that person that held everything and everyone together passes.. I come from a large family.&nbsp; My mother had eight of us and she also comes from even a larger family.&nbsp; My mother passed away going on two years in May. and nothing is the same.&nbsp; I have six brothers and one sister and I'm the youngest.&nbsp; None of us really keep in touch or at least have no more get togethers.&nbsp; I remember growing up we always had parties, get togethers, especially holidays,&nbsp; every one got along.&nbsp; That all wore out.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I miss my mother she's the one that held us all together and knew how to hold us all together.&nbsp; No one ever told her no.....&nbsp; But I am grateful for my own family now.&nbsp;&nbsp; My husband, three daughters, and especially my four grandkids...</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you both!  This is really helping me move on and I had no intentions of hoping this blog would do that for me :)  I have been keeping some traditions alive with my children.   My husband came from a very small family.  Just he and his Mother and Grandmother.  Creating new traditions and showing him all about the old ones has made us closer than I have realized.  I'm thankful for the times I had with my family growing up and now, I get to share the love :) </p> <p> </p> http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879/#c_202789 http://www.masbakersfield.com/home/Blog/Trish/21879/#c_202789 <p>Thank you both!  This is really helping me move on and I had no intentions of hoping this blog would do that for me :)  I have been keeping some traditions alive with my children.   My husband came from a very small family.  Just he and his Mother and Grandmother.  Creating new traditions and showing him all about the old ones has made us closer than I have realized.  I'm thankful for the times I had with my family growing up and now, I get to share the love :) </p> <p> </p>