Crazy and Not So Crazy Random Thoughts - Twinkie's Blog - Mas

A Twinkielicious Bath

It just occurred to me that I haven’t had a bath for a very long time. It’s not that I don’t enjoy them. It’s just that my baths (the very few I’ve actually been able to have in my life) usually go a little something like this:

Me: rush home from a hectic day at work. All I can think of at this moment is a glass of Cabernet and a candlelit bubble bath. But first, I need to make dinner, feed the family, help the kids with their homework, send the older two to bed, do a bit of chores around the house, put the little twinkies in their cribs… then run the hot water while I’m rushing around the house trying to get everything in order so when I finally do end up in my bubble bath, I can relax.

Prep time? About 2 or 3 hours

Bath? About 30 seconds

Then I it starts.

I hear, “Mooooooooommmmmmm….. my brother won’t leave me alone.

Me: Ignore

Them: she started it.

No he did.

No she did.

Who are you gonna believe?

Mom…..

MOOMMMMM??????

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Mom, she hit me.

He started it.

She hit me.

MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Me? Bath=over

I’m not complaining, though. Really. It was mostly just an observation.

I haven’t had a bath for a very long time.

And my teenagers haven’t been pesky little fighting pre-teen boogers for even longer.

Gawd I miss that!

*Plus, I thought this twinkie-taking-a-bath picture was sooo cute I wanted to blog about it.*

Take my personality test!

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it.
They are:

A. Apple
B. Banana
C. Strawberry
D. Peach
E. Orange

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it.. This is
great, I was astounded!
Your choice reveals a lot about you!

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN ;

If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
E. Orange : That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

Funny Football Commentary

Just in case any of you were wondering why I've been out of the loop when it comes to Bakersfield's music scene lately... here's why.

Well, ok so maybe you don't care or even notice but I'm gonna tell you anyways!

When my kids play their sports my every day except for Sunday is devoted to them. In fact, we just got back from San Francisco from watching Princess Twinkie's Colorguard team perform the pre-game show with the band. YES. We drove all the way to San Francisco to watch their 5 minute performance.

It's important to be there for your kids. Right? And it means a lot to them!

Anyways, back to Big Mickey and Annequin. They are playing tackle football. This is Annequin's second year, Big Mickey's first.

Not just because they're my kids, but.. honestly .. I was pretty damned impressed with how they did this season. Big Mickey really stepped it up to show big bro that he can be as tough as him and Annequin went from begging me to take him home the first day of "hell week" last year.. to being one of the best kids on his team this year. In fact, he made the Allstar Team. I'll probably post some pictures of that game next weekend but for now...

Here's some funny pictures: (we're the gold team)

them: hey.. where did he go?

him: Ummmm guys? I'm down here!!!

Him: grrrrr... I'm gonna get you!!!!!

Big Mickey #7: Oh yeah? You and what army???

Big Mickey #7 while on the floor holding his knee: OH. THAT army!!!

Annequin #9:

HEy PUNK nobody does that to MY little brother!!!

teammate: YEAH!!! Let's get 'em!!!

HIM: get out of my way little man!!! Or I'll have YOU for breakfast!!

(team gets mad... ) OH NO YOU DIDN'T ...
LET's RUMBLE!!!

*disclaimer* these pictures are sooooooo obviously out of order. I only put them in this specific order for the "laugh factor" Also, no children were hurt in the making of this post.

Wretched Flesh the nightmare series continues

It’s happening again. I’m starting to get these weird bad dreams that seem horrible while I’m dreaming but once I wake up they’re silly.

So last night it involved maggots and caterpillars.

Princess Twinkie is only about 4 or 5 in my dream. She’s hungry, so I need to make her dinner. BUT I am going to school. Her cute brown eyes open wide and her lips are pouty as she pleads for something to quiet her hunger pangs. I feel immediate feel my heart pound and my palms sweat as I stress out trying to figure out how to feed her and make it to school on time.

The scene then changes to me walking across town and I live in McFarland again so I have to go over the “walking bridge” that goes over the freeway. Immediate chilling fear rushes throughout my body as I realize it’s the bridge that when I was little I always feared falling and rolling violently down the steep incline. Even then I realized how naturally clumsy I was and just knew that if it was gonna happen to anybody, it would be me. I could even picture myself taking one wrong step and … bam.

Roll.roll.roll.roll.BAM.

My friends would sometimes dare each other to run down and once in a while one would fall as soon as we’d hit the end. Luckily it was dirt that was awaiting us, not concrete. Which meant our scrapes wouldn’t be as bad as if we’d fallen into the street. I was never brave enough. It was a given that I was gonna fall, so why bother proving it?

In my dream I’m halfway down the bridge and my daughter appears to me. She says she’s hungry and she doesn’t feel good. Her throat hurts, she cries.

I look into her mouth and I see that she has a few red spots. Then I see a tiny little spider, maybe a baby black widow? and it bites her throat. A red bump immediately appears. I quickly try to reach for this spider, to kill it before it does more harm.

That’s when I notice! Pus filled soars all throughout her mouth and throat. The spider must have been biting her for days and the red bumps got infected and had turned to pus. I was too busy going to school and hanging out with my friends that I didn’t even notice.

My daughter seems uncomfortable but isn’t crying or anything so I try hard not to panic. I take her and walk to my mom’s house. She always knows what to do. My mom quickly tells me to start dinner while she figures something out.

I start dinner. Spaghetti. Once it’s done I put it in a serving tray and before I set it down on the table, I notice. Caterpillars and maggots have infested the spaghetti. They’re everywhere. I pour some sort of bug killer? I guess? On the spaghetti, trying to salvage it. It melts the spaghetti but the bugs are still there. I quickly yell for my brother to help me take this gooey maggot mess out to the trash.

My mom realizes that my daughter’s problem is more critical. See, apparently these bugs are coming out of HER mouth and infesting the house. She quickly urges me to take her to the E.R so I do.

The last scene of my dream I’m crying and crying because if it weren’t for me being so busy with my own life, I would have noticed this damned spider infesting my daughter’s body and creating this maggoty mess.

HELP!

I glanced at the my tool bar to the far left was button labeled HELP. If I clicked on it, would it really help? Can anyone really help me now? I decided it was worth a shot.

I clicked on it. I brought down a window that was labeled help topics. I scrolled down the list.... hmmm... no nothing about life trauma, tribulations, depression, anxiety.

What about my trusty old paper clip, he always seems willing to help. I brought him out from hiding. I had previously put him away after he bugged the hell out of me when he wouldn’t stop asking me if I needed help writing a letter. He seems happy to be out of hiding. He doesn’t seem to hold any grudges against me, good old trusty paper clip.

"Mr.Paper clip," I typed, "financial troubles."

He came back with "Trouble finding files?"

NO! I retype, "help with money"

He responded, "Help with recording billing information for a task?"

"Hmm," I thought, "getting closer, one more time. How can I make more money?"

He responded, "Change the width of a contact card?"

Let’s face it, my paper clip though eager to help, is a moron. I right clicked on him and hid him. Although, I must say, having someone sit around awaiting your command is kind of exhilarating, I brought him back out, paper clip, what should I have for lunch?...

sent to me by email by my sister, The Raven originally posted on bakotopia.com

Barack Obama thanks you!

I opened my email to this tonight:

(whoever voted for Obama insert your own name here)

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

My Name is Luca

I see a little boy looking out of his window every day. He looks sad? Maybe bored? Anxious to go outside? I don’t know. But every day I I sit here and wonder.

He lives in a roach hotel. You know the kind. The ones you rent by the week. I work right across the street from this hotel. And the things I see make me run home and hug my own children. The kids run around outside in diapers in the middle of winter. No supervision. Cops come once a week at least either looking for, or arresting somebody

A few months ago there was a cute little girl playing outside all day. At one point she decided it was time to go inside. She knocked and knocked on the door. But they wouldn’t let her in.

Finally, a man opened the door and told her to get the hell away from the door. Then he shut it and locked it. She left for a few minutes then came back. She knocked again. The man threatened to beat her ass. He told her HE would tell HER when it was time to come in.

Dejected, the girl went and sat on the sidewalk for a little while. Then decided she’d try again. Same results. At this point my coworker decided she needed to call CPS. A few minutes later, the cops arrived.

I don’t know what happened but I do know the little girl was finally allowed back in the room/apartment. Only problem is, same thing happened the next day, cops were called again. By the next week, that family was gone.

Where is that little girl going to end up when she grows up? Will she be in an abusive relationship? Will she resort to drugs to mask her pain? Where will she be in five years? Will she have survived her childhood undamaged? Will she even live that long?

Every time I see an older kid, hoodlum, gangster, thug, I always think to myself, “this kid was once a cute adorable little boy/girl.” And it makes me sad. I wonder if he grew up in an atmosphere where he didn’t know any better. He simply followed the footsteps that were left behind for him.

Perhaps he didn’t know he had better choices. I can’t help but wonder what this cute little boy in the window will be when he grows up. Will he be a teacher, a truck driver, a cop?, a store clerk?, an author?, a rapist?, a murderer?

I know that sometimes as parents we do the best we can and our kids still turn out rotten. I realize that. I understand that somewhere along the line they will have choices to make and they may not be the right ones. And sometimes these choices will be life altering.

One of my son’s good friends recently was suspended for possession of cocaine. This is a kid that I’ve watched grow up before my very eyes. He’s a star football player that at one point was probably at a party, or with his older cousins, or whatever… and was asked to try cocaine.

He chose YES. He has now changed his life course. He can no longer play football. Will he change his life around at this point? I don’t know? But he has a choice. And he has a strong family support at home in case he chooses drugs are not for him.

But some kids don’t even have that choice. Just like the kids that I see living in the roach hotel. Their parents are probably druggies, or alcoholics. These kids are born into a world much different than what you and I know. They live things we only see on T.V. And the cycle is hard to break.

It can be done But it is not easy. Who is going to take the time nowadays to help these kids out? To show them that life DOES get better. Who is going to tell them they have other choices than what they are experiencing right now?

These kids have no moral or emotional support at home and are in desperate need of a mentor. They need somebody to believe in them. They need somebody to love them. They need somebody to teach them. Will you be that somebody? Will I?

originally posted on bakotopia.com October 27, 2006

No snakes on THIS plane (or birthday party)

There are certain things I would never do for fun. And touching one of THESE is one of them.

My neighbor recently had a party for her son and she hired the “Reptile Man” It was really funny to see reacting to these animals and the guy is a hoot.

With his lame attempts at adult humor and the corny joke telling.. well. I have to say his personality alone wins the adults over. It’s the snakes and stuff that attract the children.

This picture cracks me up because the kid on the left is really saying, “Ay! Don’t eat me!” but it looks like he’s saying, “Mmmmm! Yummy!”

The birthday boy kept saying, “Please let me get the tail. I don’t want to get the head. Don’t make me get the head. Please, I don’t want the head.”

But in this picture, he also looks like he’s about to eat the snake.

Plus, Mr. Reptile man is looking at me as if saying, “Can you hurry up with the picture, lady? This kid is about to eat my the snake. And I’m afraid I’m next.”

I have to admit the party was pretty cool and the kids had a blast and we even learned a few animal facts.

But if I never see another snake again I'll be ok.

So please remember! The only kind of animals I want at MY birthday party are: Three Blind Moose, a Yellowtail, and maybe even a Fox.

/////////////////////////////

And we happen to be in Vegas, well, that's even better! After all, I mean COME ON!!!

It's VEGAS baby!

Bird Murderer

*as posted on bakotopia.com January 2007 <---click there for the first version and comments from other readers

Saturday morning I was a woman on a mission. I had a big bag of oranges and tons of orange cookies to make. My oven is broken so the baking was going to happen in Bakersfield, at my sister, the Raven’s house. I woke up the kids and while they got dressed I made my daughter Princess Twinkie and me a “café con leche”, got my baking supplies ready and loaded them up in the car. Then we were off!

Twenty minutes later while driving on Hwy 65 we hear a loud “POP.” I look at my windshield. Sure enough there it was… the dreaded dime shaped spider webbed crack. DAMMIT!

“Oh my God, mom, what happened?" Princess Twinkie asked in obvious disbelief.

“We just got hit by a rock.” I said calmly.

“Our windshield is cracked! WHAT? HOW? What are we going to do? That’s gonna take a lot of money to replace it hu?” she asked, still panicked at the sight of the crack.

“Hopefully they can just repair it" I replied. I called The Raven and asked her to find me a windshield repair place that opened on Saturdays. I didn't want to wait until Monday in case it spread.

The calmness in my voiced reassured my daughter that it wasn’t a big deal as long as it was handled promptly. We continued on Hwy 65 without any more worries. Her listening to her iPod, and me in deep thought.

I started to think about the last time I had something come at me like that and causing similar damage. It was back in 1996. I was living in McFarland and working in Porterville. I was driving along, lost in thought, enjoying nature and the innocence of life surrounding me. I was admiring the different type of birds on the side of the road, some in groups, circling each other as if they were innocent little kids playing their childhood games.

Then BAAAAAAAAAAAM. One of the birds hit my windshield head on. He looked right at me, it’s beak bent, it's little face tightly compressed up against my windshield. It was as if life slowly drained out of it right before my very eyes. I screamed. And I cried. It looked at me with it's beady little eyes as if saying, “Why? Why did you kill me? Murderer!”

It finally slid down the windshield and rolled off with a few thumps, leaving behind a small crack on the windshield in remembrance of my actions.

"Oh my God!" I thought, "my first animal murder."

Sadness overwhelmed me as I thought about it's baby birdies calmly awaiting the return of their mamma who was out getting food for them.

Tears streamed down my face blurring my vision. I no longer saw the wonder of nature. I no longer saw the rows and rows of the majestic agricultural life. I no longer noticed the birds playing their games, circling, full of joy and life and innocence. I just saw death. It grabbed a hold of me, choking me until I couldn’t breathe. I cried inconsolably the rest of the way. I couldn't shake off the feeling of being a birdy murderer.

I managed to get through the day and only cried a few more times while confessing my murder to my coworkers. They couldn’t understand what the big deal was. It wasn’t my fault they said. They reminded me that the bird ran into me, not the other way around. It didn’t make it less painful. I killed nature and it weighed heavy in my heart.

All this changed the next morning as I woke up and my WHOLE WINDSHIELD was cracked. The small dime sized blemish had spread like wildfire! Stupid azz frikkin' bird! Shit! Damn! #$#&* What the heck was it thinking running into me like that? Why couldn't it have committed it's birdy suicide elsewhere? Jerk azz mothacracker! Suddenly all the pain and guilt disappeared and was replaced by anger.

His eyes no longer screamed out, "MURDERER!" Instead, they taunted me. That bird knew what it was doing to me and it was laughing at me, even after death. Thinking back, it probably wasn't even a momma bird. It was probably a rebel teenage bird playing chicken with it's other stupid teenage rebel bird friends. They probably dared him to fly towards me and then veer off at the last minute. A teenage birdy tragedy that cost it's life, and me $500.

I did learn one thing, however... a cracked windshield can't wait. You have to repair them as soon as possible. So this past Saturday, I did just that.

Poppy Cede and the Twinkie

I was reading one of my new favorite blogs this morning called Poppy Cede and she is recounting what happened to her last night. Here it is in part:

Title:

I know we're in a hurry, but…

I was driving to my pharmacy to pick up my prescription (went without a hitch, not the point of the story) and saw a man curled up in the road and a teal car about 2 feet from him. I am filling in the blanks that the teal car hit the man, although I don't know that. When I came to the scene that I did not witness there were no emergency responders there yet. Traffic was starting to back up in the lane where the teal car and man on the ground were. Nothing for me to do except move along little lady since I didn't witness it so I went to McDonald's for a Coke then CVS for my prescription.

click here to read the rest.

She received a few comments asking about the guy, did she stop? What if help wasn't on the way, etc etc.

For some reason, it triggered an old memory. See, it reminded me of my "dark days" when my life sucked and I was all gloomy and depressed all the time and I was making bad choices and then whining about the consequences.

Not that she is in a similar situation but it's a funny thing what happens when you read other peoples blogs, or poetry, or whatever. You read. You interpret. You conjur up old memories that are similar or you think are similar or you find ways to relate to it. So anyways, this is what it reminded me of and so I posted this:

Sometimes it's best to just move along. Other times it's a good idea to stop. Only you know when that time is, depending on the circumstances.

As a side note, it's moments like that which sometimes make you appreciate your own chaotic life and make you realize that no matter how shitty your own situation might be at the time, life goes on. So get your head out of your booty and keep on moving. LOL

Not that I think YOU have a shitty life, I'm just sayin' in general. I remember during a really BAD part of my life when I had my head up my own booty thinking the world owed me a better life and wah wah wah this and boohoo hoo that, I drove by an accident that had just happened. I looked over and there was this pregnant lady in the drivers seat of a van and she was screaming. The way I was in traffic I couldn't stop (far right lane… accident was on the far left lane)

Anyways, I remember thinking, I just witnessed something tragic. This ladies life as she knows it has ended. (a car accident like that changes you forever) And yet, I still have to go to work. No fair.