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Man: Can I ask you something and you promise not to get mad?
Me: Sure!
Man: I’ve been staring at you from across the room for a while and I was just wondering….
Me: *gulp!! Shifts nervously…..
Man: I noticed you’re wearing a loose fitting shirt… is it the shirt?
Me: *confused and wondering where this is leading…
Man: Or are you pregnant?
Me: relieved because she wasn’t sure where exactly this conversation was leading and that question is better than all the alternatives that were running through my mind!
*laugh hysterically and say, “Ah yes.. the shirt. Well you see, too many pepsi’s and Snickers later.. I wear the shirt to hide the big belly. So YES the shirt is for a reason. But NO it’s not the reason you thought.
Man: laughs…. Then says, “Well good for you!” (whatever that means!)
Me: I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING.
I mean first of all, who asks that?
And secondly...
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