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He Looks at Me with Mistrust
Topics: women, Family, everyday life
Posted by Hilda Thu Sep 27, 2007 15:52:14 PDT
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0 responses 3 comments

He goes by my gate, mi porton, and he sees me standing there watering my plants.

He looks at me con desconfianza; he stares at me with mistrust.

You see, I’m not the typical woman he usually deals with.

For starters I am, in a few words, independent and happy in my singlehood. Today and everyday of summer, I wear shorts and a cute summer tee. I enjoy the summer sun upon my skin, estoy prieta de tanto estar afuera.

I am a daughter of the sol and the sky. I enjoy watering the plants, sweeping the carport, and doing anything that will get me outside.

I have often told my friends that I could easily live outside, I am such a hippie. I could easily live under the stars.

My needs are few. My appearance is quite contrary of what is expected for my age and gender.

Black shiny hair, shoulder length, summer shorts and cool tee’s, boobs free of the constraints of a bra, and the ever present beach chanclas. I have them in every style and color.  

I am of the firm belief that a California girl should never lack for chanclas de playa, even if she lives two and a half hours from Pismo.

I am also, unafraid of the world, able to make a living without having to rely on the provisions of a man.

A liberal, who is open minded and outspoken about everything and anything, my curse in a world where women are expected to shut up and cook and clean and be the good little wives.

The ones who turn a blind eye to their husband’s indiscretions, porque esa es nuestra cruz, that is our cross to bear.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I believe that God made men and women to be social, to be a part each other, to complement one another.

Sadly as it stands right now, men and women are so far from God’s expectations for the human family.

So, he sees me with mistrust, because I don’t fit the model of what he is used to.

A woman who lives through her husband life, who cries in silence, faced with his absence, faced with his lack of understanding of his expected role as a father, who cheats with a local hooch, while at home awaits a woman who is vital and full of life and love for her viejo.

Someone who needs and wants his love and support. So, he goes by and he sees me with mistrust, con desconfianza, because I don’t fit the category of what he has been thought to expect from women.

And that’s OK with me, because in the end I only have one, well, two persons to answer to, God who gave me life and myself. And at least on my book, I’m doing well, as a human being, and as a woman.

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Comment From: olivia

Chica, you got it going on! What a good poeta you are! Write some more! We even create a poetry category in MAS to read more! You just inspired me to bust out with the old poetry writer in me... I used to write a lot of poetry in college, inspired by my Chicano professor/poet Juan Felipe Herrera... Man, how I looked up to him and admired his writing. I think he would have appreciated your piece, too! Comment From: Twinkie

This is a great piece. Powerful, honest and soooooo true! Comment From: WOOFWOOF

You know to often women think they have to bear that cross. Once upon a time I did that for awhile. I lost me when I was with someone. It took me awhile to just say GET OUT and I found me again.NEVER AGAIN!!! Stay strong and never settle.