www.masbakersfield.com

Through 70 years, couple maintains timeless love

To many, love might be a box of 24 assorted chocolates, three dozen roses and dinner.

But to Romana and Francisco Cardoza, love is 70 years of marriage, 15 children and a “gazillion” home-cooked meals.

The couple attributes their longevity to love, communication, respect and their children.

Romana, 84, and Francisco, 90, first met as children in Texas.

“When I was young, I remember picking her up when she fell off of a swing,” Francisco said.

Francisco made up his mind right then and there — he knew he would be marrying Romana someday.

It was when the couple started working together, picking cotton as teenagers, that they got to know each other and eventually decided to marry, which they did on Jan. 4, 1936.

“At the time, I didn’t really think about getting married,” Romana said. “But it happened.”

Romana became a housewife while Francisco took on multiple jobs, one of which included working for the railroad as a repairman and car inspector who checked for defects.

His railroad job eventually brought the couple to Bakersfield, where they continued raising their children.

Back in Texas, Francisco also played on the local baseball team. Romana was right there with him, cheering on the sidelines while selling raspados and using an ice-shaver that Francisco built himself.

Over the course of 26 years, the couple had 15 children, who today range in age from 69 to 43.

They still live in the same white house on Washington Street in the east Bakersfield neighborhood of La Colonia.  Francisco, now retired from the railroad, focuses on watering the lawn and staying close to the love of his life, while Romana wakes up every morning to make lunch for her adult sons.

While the old house has lost some of its luster over the years, it hasn’t lost any of its warmth, especially when it serves as the site for family gatherings and neighborhood socials. Parts of the house are falling apart, said the couple’s children, but Francisco and Romana do not want any repairs made.

“We have lived here most of our lives, and we want it all to stay the way it is,” Romana said.

Francisco and Romana both remain in good health. In fact, Francisco still has all his real teeth except one.

The couple remains active by doing something they have always enjoyed — dancing.

“I like dancing everything from Texan music to Rock n Roll,” Romana said.

The two usually dance at family gatherings and recently celebrated their 70th anniversary by having dinner and going to the casino, a special source of enjoyment for Romana.

Lessons of Love
Through the course of their 70-year union, Romana and Francisco learned a lot about making a relationship work and about themselves.  But in addition to that,  Romana also learned how to read and write.

“My dad spoke English and Spanish, and my mom only spoke Spanish,” said Maria Rivera, the couple’s oldest daughter. “My dad eventually taught my mom how to read and write in Spanish.”

And that is something Romana admires about her husband — his dedication and hard work.

“He has always been there, whether it be to teach me how to read or to work to feed this family,” Romana said.

And the other lessons about making a marriage work they have passed on to their children.

“A big one we learned is that a man would never hit a woman,” said Angie Verdugo, the youngest daughter in the family. “My father never hit my mother.”

Romana has taught her sons and daughters that a key to making a marriage a long lasting and happy one is to respect and take care of their spouses.

Building a bond
The couple also credits their children for keeping them together. Although both Romana and Francisco agree that having 15  children wasn’t in their plan, they have always loved having a large family and to this day feel a need to see their children at least once a day.

“I feel lonely when they I don’t get to see them throughout the day,” Romana said. “But they have to come and get their lunches.”

Today, Francisco and Romana’s family has expanded with the addition of 37 grandchildren, 50 great-grandchildren and seven great-great-grandchildren.

Growing up with Romana and Francisco as parents was incredible, according to the now-grown Cardoza offspring.

“I remember growing up, our house was the place to be,” Verdugo said. “All the kids in the neighborhood would come over to our house and we would play kick-the-can, and Mom would have a pitcher of Kool-Aid ready and some sandwiches or burritos.”

“To this day, my mom feeds everyone in the neighborhood,” said Pete Cardoza, the second oldest son.

Brenda Heredia, a neighbor of the couple for five years, said she is always invited to barbecues.

“They are really good neighbors,” she said. “I always see them together.”

Aura Amador, a neighbor of the Cardozas for 10 years, said that is something she’s always noticed, too — the Cardozas are always together.

“They are really good people,” Amador said. “Some days, the lady comes over and talks with me.”

The couple’s children said that their parents have always been involved with them, and still enjoy hiding eggs during Easter — only now, it’s for their grandchildren.

“Our father has always been the hardworking and quiet type,” Verdugo said. “But when it came to scolding us, he would talk to us rather than spank us.”

Verdugo said Francisco always taught his children the value of being honest.

“While my father was the man who kept us all together, my mother was our rock and had nerves of steel,” Verdugo said. “She was always there to help us be strong in tough situations.”

Maintaining the love
As the years have flown by, Romana remembers the old days and feels that nothing has really changed.

“Francisco doesn’t worry as much any more,” she said. “Besides that, everything seems the same.”

The couple keeps busy by attending family functions, dancing, spending time with the grandchildren, going to casinos and watching TV.

Well, that is, Romana watches her soap operas on TV, while Francisco sleeps next to her.

“Sometimes, I just want to talk to him, but he is sleeping,” Romana said.

Granddaughter Teresa Rodriguez notices how her grandparents have slowed down, but still maintain their caring nature and let the love they have for each other show.

“Now they are old and even though they try, I can see that they are tired. But, I can still see the love they have for one another, because they cannot be more than a few feet apart. They complement and draw strength from each other,” Rodriguez said.

Verdugo said her parents are still very healthy, energetic and loving and still continue to show each other great affection.

“The lines on their face and calloused hands show their history and hard work all these years,” Rodriguez said. “They love each other and that is what has helped them endure all these years.”

Contact Gabriel Ramirez at:
gramirez@masbakersfield.com