www.masbakersfield.com

Path leads to helping families

At one point in his life, Risto Rubio felt he was on the wrong path.
But that’s just a faded memory for the now successful Bakersfield working professional, community volunteer, husband and father of three.
Rubio is the first Latino manager of South Kern Cemetery District/Arvin, where he helps Hispanic families plan and prepare for the death of a loved one.
From helping people choose the right funeral plan to saying goodbye in the right way, Rubio said he’s enjoyed being in the funeral business — something he fell into quite by accident.
Actually, it was a car accident.
In early 2000, Rubio, then a truck driver for five years, was driving down the Grapevine when another truck driver, who had fallen asleep, struck Rubio’s truck. Rubio was almost crushed between a mountain and striking a tractor-trailer.
His ankle got stuck between the brake pedal and the motor and it took two hours before he was pried out of the truck. He made it out OK, but his doctor told him he couldn’t drive anymore because of his broken foot and knee. Rubio decided it was time to leave the road behind.
He later applied for a job at the Hillcrest Memorial Park and Mortuary in Bakersfield at a friend’s recommendation. He got the job before moving over to the South Kern cemetery district, which serves families in Arvin, Lamont, Frazier Park and outlying areas of southwest Bakersfield and Tehachapi.
The 44-year-old, who’s been in the funeral business for five years now, said he enjoys his job because he gets to help families while spending time with Gerry, his wife of 22 years, and daughters, Stephanie, 20; Jennifer, 18; and Melissa, 13.
But there’s more to Rubio.
As the eighth of eight children, Rubio joined the labor force at an early age, helping his mom, Lucia, make some money to support the family. He recalls he once volunteered to help his mom iron and starch a big load of clothes to help her earn some cash.
Next is a little more about Rubio’s background that he shared with MÁS:
Q: Tell us about your family?
A: There were eight of us. I was the baby. I have five sisters and two brothers. We grew up poor. My dad was from Mexico, from Chihuahua, and my mom was from New Mexico. My dad came to this country as a bracero. Taught himself how to read and write. He passed away. My mother, Lucia, is now 82 years old.
Q: You’ve told us getting where you’re at today hasn’t been easy at all. What do you mean?
A: I grew up in the barrio (east Bakersfield). I grew up in a home where my dad was a good provider. But, my dad had a drinking problem. But, we learned to live differently because of my mom. She was the household leader. I remember being 9 years old and going out in the fields and working so hard before we were able to go home. We worked hard, but we never did without food or clothing.
Q: You mention that at some point in your life, you almost “chose the wrong path.” What do you mean? Did you get involved in gangs or something like that?
A: It was kind of something like that, but no. I knew I was heading to trouble. I was getting involved with the wrong people who were up to no good. I wanted to get out of the area I was growing up in, so I went into the military in 1979. It was my decision to join. I joined the Army, the 82nd Airborne Division, which were the parachuters. (I was in the military) for three years. And it really helped me become a man. I changed my ways.  And when I came back, I saw many of my friends stuck in the same place.
Q: Now that years have gone by, what other things do you do in the community?
A: For the last two years, I’ve been mentoring at schools with the help of community members. I talk to kids and tell them they will be the leaders of tomorrow, running this community and country. This year, however, I’m going to take a step further by talking to seniors. I’ll be working with some local business owners on this so we can send them a strong message. They have to believe in themselves, and we need leaders in this community.
My mom would always instill this in us, we have to believe in ourselves, so others would believe in us.
Q: What are some of the challenges you run across in this business?
A: The challenge is convincing Hispanic families to plan ahead for the death of a loved one. A lot of times we don’t want to talk about it. I guess because, as Mexicanos, we think if we talk about it, it will happen. But it’s the inevitable. It’s important for them to plan ahead, so they won’t be washing cars on the hardest days of their lives. It’s hard washing cars, but sometimes they have no choice.
Q: In your business, you have to deal a lot of grieving families. How do you help them during these trying times?
A: My wife and kids have always been very religious. We prayed on a different lifestyle and a friend of mine came and said they were hiring at Hillcrest for a salesman. I have never sold anything in my life. At the time, I was working in the religious education at Our Lady of Guadalupe Church. But I met the general manager. I went and I tried it, and I fell in love. I felt the need of being there for people when they most needed someone to have strong shoulders to lean on. I’m a good listener. I’ve been able to help so many people. (At my former cemetery job), I buried high school kids. I buried a whole family who was killed in car accident. Here, it’s just important to keep the prices down.  As a believer, I know that there’s a better place where we’re going.
Q: What are the main community groups that you participate in?
A: I belong to Kern County Hispanic Chamber of Commerce board and the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Foundation. I am vice president of the Lamont Chamber of Commerce, and a member of the Lamont Lions Club and the Arvin Chamber of Commerce. I’m also on the campaign for Our Lady of Guadalupe Church building fund.
Q: What keeps you motivated?
A: We live in a great country that has opportunities for everybody regardless of what color you are. I want the youth to say, “Hey, if that guy can do it, I know I can do it.”  We hold retreats at different churches, and we go to the youth and we tell them they have to stay focused and make their parents proud. I get a lot of energy from the community myself. I’ve always wanted to give back to community because I believe in that.
Q: What do you think has helped you get where you are today?
A: God.  And I’ve never forgotten where I came from.  And I’ve never forgotten all the struggles that I’ve went through. Also, I think I’ve been very successful, thanks to the support of my wife and family.