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Poof! Guy disappears, but it’s not exactly magical for girl left behind

Dear Gabe,
I have been talking to this guy for about three months now, and he has been showing interest in me, but he’s not willing to commit. I have bought him things here and there, and we have even hung out and had lunch together a few times. I recently found out that he was talking to another girl and that was after he just dropped me completely. He just stopped talking to me and disappeared. How can a guy be such a jerk? What did I do wrong? And what can I do to talk to him again?
Sincerely,
What happened?

Dear What happened,
Let me get this straight: You were interested in a guy, and he was interested in you. Then, he disappeared and is now talking to another girl? OK, you have to understand the reason he did that was because he lost interest in you. Sure, it might have been very immature of him to just disappear out of the blue, but maybe you scared him away? If you didn’t, then again, perhaps he was just not ready for a commitment. You said it yourself, he would not commit, but it sounds like you kept persisting by buying him things. Learn from this and forget him. Honestly, do you really want a guy who can pull a Houdini? 
Forget him!
Gabe

Dear Gabe,
My girlfriend and I will be having our one-year anniversary in mid-March and I wanted some advice. What can I give her that tells her I love her? One year is a big deal for both her and me, so I want to make it special. What ideas do you have?
Sincerely,
Need some help

Dear Need some help,
I think it is great that you are actually taking the time to plan ahead. What you might want to do is cook dinner for her and invite her over. Make sure you get some candles and wine. Make it as romantic and cheesy as you can. She will love it! If you are more of an outdoors type, then do the same thing, but make it a picnic. Either way, you want to show her that you put time and effort into what you are doing — so don’t buy the food. Make it yourself!
Now for the gift. I take it you are not proposing just yet — that would certainly get the message across. Think about getting her a promise ring. I think it is the next best thing to an engagement ring, and it will let her know that an engagement is just around the corner. If that’s too much for you, then think about making something crafty like a collage with photos of the both of you. Another idea — which might be off the wall, but it will for sure let her know that you love her — is giving her the key to your place.
Think about it,
Gabe

Dear Gabe,
How fast is too fast? I met this girl about two years ago, and we started dating for the last five months. I feel really connected to her, and I think I am ready to tell her she is “the one.” Am I moving too fast?
Sincerely,
Am I speeding?

Dear Am I speeding,
You ready for this? OK, so by most people’s way of thinking, you might be moving on “highly accelerated.” If you think you are in a movie, then people might say you are right on time. Here is what I think:  It is ridiculous to rely on the time factors we have come to accept as so-called “normal.” I have heard it before, “You should be dating someone for at least a year before you ...” Get my point? I think we should do things when we feel we are ready. Granted, some might say you are being caught up in the emotion, but that’s the good part of relationships. Sure, people get hurt in relationships, but if you go into one with too much caution, well, you just won’t enjoy it. My opinion is to follow your heart.
Do what you feel,
Gabe


Tired of being alone? Need help making your relationship work? Or, maybe you just need tips on how to get out of one. I am Gabriel Ramirez, and I’ll be your helpful relationship advice columnist. I will provide you with the male perspective on relationships. All you have to do is ask. Send your questions by e-mail to: gramirez@masbakersfield.com. Or call, (661) 716-8647.