Til death do us part...
Til death do us part...
Til death do us part...
When it came time to choosing a unique wedding location, this Bakersfield couple looked beyond 'expected' & ended up taking vows at Union Cemetery. Yes, we said 'cemetery.'
Jose and Noelia Citialin at Union Cemetery on 5/24/08
Matt Muñoz, MÁS staff / Photos by Holly Carlyle Photography
Who said weddings were just for the living?
Breaking a long held family tradition of white dresses and church bells ringing, newlyweds Jose and Noelia Citialin celebrated their nuptials in front and above of what may be the biggest wedding guest turnout on May 24 at Bakersfield’s Union Cemetery.
RSVP wasn’t required of those who just “happened to be there,” i.e. the cemetery’s buried residents.
“It was automatic,” said Jose of their decision to get married at the historic final resting place in the heart of Bakersfield. “And we would be uniting with everyone we know.”
Noelia, 33, who by day works as a registered nurse, and Jose, 26, employed at the National Association for People with Disabilities (NAPD), began planting the first seed of what would be quite the creative expression after Jose proposed marriage at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve 2007.
“I called Union Cemetery to ask if we could have a ceremony there and they were like, ‘OK, are you sure? Just pick a spot and don’t make a mess,’” she said. “No one had ever asked, and our friend, Carlos Ortiz (a Bakersfield man killed in car accident in May 2006) is buried there, so we really wanted it to happen.”
With personalities to match, this love story also comes complete with its own unique history.
Meeting for the first time at the 2002 Bakersfield Reggae Fest, Jose remembered a comment by his mother, Alicia, who was also at the festival.
Jose, who had already adopted his own “goth” look — wearing black clothing, spiky hair, and exhibiting an affinity for the darker side of life — was pointed in the direction of a possible kindred spirit with a similar look.
“My mom saw Noelia at the Reggae Fest and said, ‘You’re going to be with a girl like that,’” Jose said.
Meeting briefly after being approached by Noelia for being “the only gothic looking guy there,” the two crossed paths again while attending Bakersfield College a few months later.
“We exchanged numbers, hung out as friends for awhile, then started dating,” she said.
Following a bumpy, year-long period that included three break-ups, the two came together again after a 2003 trip to New Orleans — home of Anne Rice vampire novels, vintage Southern architecture and swamps.
Could it be any more obvious?
“We just decided to take a trip, and had the best time ever,” remembered Noelia. “That trip sealed the deal.”
Renewing their friendship, the city supplied the ideal romantic setting.
“We hung out in the cemetery, and ran in the rain,” said Jose. “It was perfect.”
Now back in stride as a couple, Jose’s surprise marriage proposal would do more than shock Noelia after four more solid years together.
“He asked me, then I blacked out,” she laughed. “We’d talk about getting married, but I never thought it would happen. I walked around like a zombie for a few days after I said yes.”
As soon as it was official, wedding plans were set in motion, with inspiration coming from all sides — including the traditional and the offbeat.
Traveling to various parts of Mexico to meet family around Día De Los Muertos, or “Day of The Dead” — the time of year when the dead are allowed to return to party with the living — the young couple quickly found their wedding theme.
“I love Mexico, and we both love goth,” said Noelia. “We thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be so cool to pull something like that off?’”
Although Día De Los Muertos is traditionally celebrated a day after Halloween on Nov. 1, the couple decided to create their own holiday a la the movie, “The Nightmare Before Christmas.”
“We had to think about family, traveling and weather, so we brought Halloween to the springtime,” said Noelia.
Family reaction to the unique celebration plans were hit and miss, but to friends and the curious, it was shaping up to be quite the party, with phone calls about what to wear, etc.
“Half my family was cool,” Jose said. “The ones that really knew us said, ‘Where else would they get married?’”
Searching for the right gown — one away from traditional white — Noelia finally found what she was looking for after numerous trips to the bridal store.
“It was wedged in between all the white dresses,” she said.
A beautiful blend of crimson and black, five layers of shiny silk, black ruffle all the way around through to the train, adjustable corset and red Swarovski crystals on top — the dress was more than fit for the occasion.
“It was more weighted than anything, but beauty before comfort,” the bride laughed.
For the groom’s fashion, longtime friends and designing duo — “Malakai” and fashion colleague, Mellissa Giuntoli — were sought to design an original suit to match Noelia’s gown.
Starting with a sketch from Malakai, Jose would give feedback and request changes where needed.
“It was cool to have friends to do that,” he said. “There’s no way I would’ve found something I liked.”
Form fitting on Jose’s ultra-slim frame, the black, light wool-blended suit was decorated with an oak tree design in crimson-colored stitching by Giuntoli, with cascading roots down the back middle of his five-button suit coat. The pants, also with red stitching down each leg, gave Jose a sort of “gothic charro” look.
Every wedding couple needs a stylish ride, but forget the limo in this case — bring on the Munster Mobile!
Finding a local replica of the car made famous by the ’60s TV show family “The Munsters,” everything was almost complete.
Next up: decorations and the ceremony.
With help from family, the couple decorated the reception hall in true colorful, muertos style — altars with sugar skulls, photos of deceased loved ones and gifts for everyone in attendance, including candy, wine and flowers.
As guests arrived at Union Cemetery, they were given sage, a handmade, mini-coffin filled with rice (to toss on the happy couple) and an Asian-inspired parasol.
Careful as to not bother any of the resting-in-peace guests in the cemetery, a small walkway was built to guide living attendees and the wedding party to their proper spots.
Accompanied by a live percussion ensemble, the bride and groom made their entrance to the altar, where Jose’s grandmother, UFW co-founder Dolores Huerta, and Native American spiritualist Tonatzin Rennick would oversee the bilingual ceremony.
“Neither of us has a specific religion,” explained Jose. “We go with what calls to us.”
“We were raised Catholic, but have our own spirituality,” echoed Noelia. “It’s about incorporating traditions.”
With the smell of sage in the air used to “purify” the location, each made their personal vows, along with an “I do.”
“This is a rededication of your own loving bond,” said Rennick, as Noelia’s mother, Virginia, and Jose’s mother, Alicia, smiled proudly alongside their children.
The couple’s new surname, “Citialin,” which means “star” in Nahuatl — the language of the Aztecs — was chosen as a tribute to their indigenous Mexican roots, and will be legally changed in the future.
Under a cool, overcast day, everyone made their way to the reception hall to party the night away with more than 400-plus guests, much to the delight of the happy couple.
“It was the most unbelievable night of my life, everything went perfect,” said Noelia.
Honeymoon plans include a vacation to NYC and Egypt, to take a trip down the Nile River.
“Everything was physically on point, and the most amazing coming together of worlds,” smiled Jose.
Story printed in Mas Magazine, 5-30-08
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