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JUST LIFE I GUESS
WELL FIRST LET ME MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT MY MOM PASSED AWAY MAY 1, 2008 AT THE AGE OF 57 I HAD TAKEN MY MOM TO THE COAST IN FEBUARY IT WAS HER FIRST TRIP WITHOUT MY STEPDAD WHO PASSED AWAY APRIL 26 2007 ,IT WAS A DIFFICULT TRIP FOR BOTH OF US BECAUSE WE HAD SPENT ALOT OF TIME AS A FAMILY THERE . ANYWAYS I TOOK MY MOM TO THE COAST FOR A FEW DAYS WE WENT TO HEARST CASTLE SHE HAD NEVER BEEN THERE WE SPENT OUR DAYS WALKING ONTHE BEACH TALKING AND LAUGHING WITH MY KIDS ONE NIGHT WE SAT DOWN WATCHED THE SUN SET OVER THE OCEAN AND SHE TOLD ME THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL PROMISE ME YOU WILL BRING ME BACK HERE AGAIN SO I TOLD HER OKAY MOM I WILL BRING YOU . WELL THE WEEKEND MY MOM DIED WAS THE WEEKEND WE WERE GOING TO GO . I TOLD MYSELF AND EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY THAT I WOULD NEVER GO BACK TO THE BEACH AGAIN IT WOULD NVER BE THE SAME FOR ME . BUT LAST WEEK I TOLD MY HUSBAND JASON I WANTED TO GO THAT I NEEDED TO GET THROUGH THIS SO WE WENT I DID OKAY UNTIL SUNDAY WALKING ON THE PIER I COULD HER MY MOM TALKING TO ME I CRIED SO HARD AND ALL I COULD DO WAS SAY TO MYSELF YOU HAVE TO DO THIS ELENA MOM WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO STOP COMING TO A PLACE WE LOVED SO MUCH I SAT THERE ON THE PIER WITH MY HUSBAND AND FRIENDS TALKING TO ME ABOUT MY MOM AND SAY ING I DID THE FIRST STEP IN DEALING WITH THIS AFTER A WHILE IT FELT GOOD TO OVER COME IT I WENT ON WITH THE DAY KNOWING THAT I DID IT I MISS HER AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THE TIMES WE SHARED BUT LIKE A FRIEND TOLD ME IT WAS TIME TO MAKE NEW MEMORIES THAT DAY AND I DID
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That makes me want to cry. I'm sorry for your loss. And also, I'm proud of you for going back and I think your mom is proud of you too!
Elena -- First, let me express my deepest sympathies for your loss. I hope you will find peace & comfort, and you did the right thing by returning to the beach, a place that holds dear memories of your mom and your family. I think what really gave you the bravery to face that difficult step was your mother's spirit. You are correct when you say she wouldn't want you to stop going to a place that meant so much to all of you. As you come to terms with your loss, the beach will represent what you gained from being there with your mom, not what you have lost.
The beach is very special to our family, too. It's where we spend all our family vacations. Sometimes we laugh that we never do anything different, just go to the beach. But you know what? If it's a place that we enjoy, that's where we should go! I think that would hold true for you and your husband and your friends -- the beach can still give you joy, so I hope you'll keep going.
We're heading over there in the next couple of weeks, and as I watch my family enjoy themselves, I'll try to appreciate those moments even more, knowing that others have lost family members and wish they could be there at the beach with them.
Take care, and thank you for sharing your story with us.